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Monday, 26 January 2015

A small change of attitude



We need to understand that life is also like a game. As you know very well all games like Cricket, Lawn Tennis, Foot-ball and Shuttle Badminton etc., have their own rules and regulations. Let us take the popular game cricket,  which is played in India. In this game there are rules and regulations such as number of players, a leader or the captain to lead, rest of  the members team squad, the specialist bowlers, the spin bowlers, fast bowlers and all the players are supposed to know the rules and regulations (laws) of the game. 

To qualify to play such games and before they are selected in the National squad, they have to play local tournaments. There, the selection committee will be watching their performance in all aspects like their fielding ability, leadership qualities, their temperament, their behavior on and off the field and various other aspects of their personality. 

What does it mean? It means that your future is decided by those who are experts in such game like cricket. And captain of the team should have all the leadership qualities. He should be able to handle the various skills of the players. He has to have full plan of the game before the match starts. He has to motivate his team members and he should also have positive temperament and he should be an example to the rest of the team members, and he should also be in a position to accept the defeat in a graceful manner and be able to take remedial measures. Imagine for instance, there are no rules and regulations, there are no judges, empires, referees whose word is final. 

Can anyone see the game of cricket or any other game without rules and regulations, without selection committee, without judges, referees and empires. There will be chaos. Everybody will be playing according to their own rules and regulations and their own style and there will not be any spectators to watch the game. There will be chaos. 

The simple truth is that we are living in a society. Society means lot of people around you who have come from different walks of life, with different skills and attitudes. If you have to be selected in a national team, you will be examined in various aspects other than your sporting skills. Mainly the way you behave with the management, your interactions with the co-players, the spectators, the Press, with everybody around you and who are controlling the destiny and you cannot say, cannot complain that you do not  have any freedom. If you are given freedom, there will be chaos. 

Even the game is also having certain limitations which you are supposed to follow like in a game of cricket the field is decided may be 80 or 75 yards and beyond that you are not supposed to play the game. It is very important, it is also fundamental law that since you are living with the people you should also respect their skills, their views, their experience, their opinions, take their suggestions and advice in a very sportive manner. 

Unfortunately if we look at the present day scenario in the game of life, in our life people almost all the human beings have deep urge to get importance, recognition, name fame, status, appreciation and lot of other expectations on their own terms. But who has to give the recognition, appreciation, awards and titles? It is not you, it is not we, it is the people who decide. It has to be given by the people. But we cannot demand from the people that we need recognition, importance, status etc.

These basic laws, most of the people have forgotten today. That is the reason in today’s society there are lot and lot of problems, mainly inter relationship is very problem. There it seems your psychological needs like whatever we have named just now the name and fame, recognition etc are not fulfilled. Hence most of us, we get frustrated,we are angry. A number of suicidal cases are increasing. There are cases of depression. There are cases of divorces for a small thing or a small issue is mainly because we only think from our side. We do not follow the rules and regulations that laid down by the society. We think that we are a special and we have all freedom to behave as we like. What is the end result? The end result is that you will be frustrated because people will not give any recognition because you demand. Your relationship with others also will be having a very big problem and you end up in getting frustrated. That addiction and lot of other negative things will be controlling your life. Hence we need to take some time to analyze. Why the things are going in astray in our life?

In 33 yrs. of my experience as a training manager, I see lot of people have immense talents and positive qualities but unfortunately they do not understand the basic laws of game of life. They are always one sided. They only see from their point of view. They do not regard that the coin has two sides. To gain something you have to lose something.  To lose something whole heartedly without feeling anything is a positive quality. Then only the nature will reward whatever you need. If you are giving love to others, in return you will also get love. If you respect the laws, general rules and regulations of the society you will also be respected and this is very fundamental truth. 

On daily basis we need to have introspection of what happened. This introspection we have to do before going to bed every day by reviewing the entire day’s activities how we behaved during the daytime with office people, with family members , friends and with colleagues,. Because of us how many people were happy and how many people were unhappy. We have to analyze ourselves without bias on daily basis. This will help us to overcome any shortcomings we have which is common factor with everybody and improve our relationships.  
A small change of attitude in our life will bring about great happiness, unlimited happiness, joy and peace. 

Only thing is, we should respect others when we need others to respect us. It is two way process, not one way process, not one sided process. There has to be exchange of energies in equal shares. It is very simple. 

Take life as very easy, very casual. Don’t think of anything serious and don’t try to be emotional because whenever you are emotional your rational thinking will disappear and always have a practical attitude and there are lot of small techniques and tips which we can easily master in order to control situations and also the people in very harmonious way. Life is not complicated at all. We only make it complicated. By following simple truths, simple things, we can bring about lot of happiness around us and enjoy our lives to fullest extent possible. If you want to be successful, all you need is to be open-minded. And don’t try to react instantly. Take some time and respond.

We would like to share our knowledge by discussing various means and methods of improving inter personal relationships(IPR), how to improve the skills, various skills and how you can get appreciation, recognition, social status and whatever you need in your life by following few small techniques. One by one we will be discussing at random. 

Author: Nanduri Sri Sairam