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Saturday, 9 July 2016

GAME OF LIFE - The Art of Speaking



You might have noticed that when some people speak in private or in public they get instant attention and the speaker creates a lot of interest where by he gets rapid attention and applause. And there are other people when they speak they do not get any attention from the listeners. why is it so? what are the important aspects one should remember while speaking in private or in public and to get full attention from the listeners? In course of time while we are living in the society some of us acquire some good habits and some do not. if you want to get full attention and create interest among the public when you are speaking you have to nurture some very good and useful habits. Let us discuss about these habits one by one




1. The first habit which we should get rid of is gossiping. Gossip is very very interesting only for some time. The person who gossips in the absence of the main person on whom is going to gossip will raise some doubts among the listeners that in their absence there is every possibility that the speaker might also do a lot of gossiping on them. Thus he looses confidence and the people who are sitting for some time they get up slowly one by one and they try to avoid him in future also.Thus the people who are gossiping will develop only a very bad and negative reputation.So if you want to be a good speaker and get immediate attention and create interest among the people never involve yourself in gossiping. Actually gossiping is a very very bad habit and in spiritual terms or in spiritual experiments with the help of kirlian's camera it was discovered the person who does gossiping his aura was reduced drastically.While a person who involves speaking in good of others his aura was magnified to a larger extent. That is the reason please remember if you want to be a good speaker in private or public do not involve yourself in gossiping.Always speak good of others who are absent when you are speaking.

2. The second habit which is very dangerous is judging. Judging the people is not a good sign and most of the people who are seniors they judge the other persons in their presence or in their absence. They see a very small part of a large portrait of a person and his personality by looking at a small part of the portrait they immediately come to conclusions and they judge the person in a very very negative manner. They have got the habit of boasting themselves and while belittling the others. If you indulge in such negative activity  then people will hardly listen to you on the contrary they always try to avoid you. Thus you get ill-reputation. If you want to be a very good public speaker try to remember not to judge people. Thus you are attracting negativity and if you have observed the famous public speakers they never do so. On the contrary if you find a small positive character in a person appreciate that person lavishly in public and in private. If you happened to see a small negative trait in a person try to be a very very miser and this small negativity may be there for a few seconds or few minutes or for a few days. Please remember one thing the people constantly change. A person might have been in a negative state according to you some time back may not be so has he gets more and more mature. So one thing in life that please don't judge others.

3. The third habit which one need to get rid of in order to be an interesting speaker is complaining. Some people have the habit of always complaining about everything in their life. They complain about the nature they say it was too cold or it was too hot, too much of rain and the god was not kind enough towards him or her. About anything in life, anything in the society,anything in the world they always complain and complain and complain.And you will find it very very difficult to be in the company of such persons. I know one of my aunt's whenever you greet her ask her casually how she was and she will narrate more than half-an-hour about her own problems and most of us believe that the sufferings are caused because of others which is not true. Most of the time it is our own doings, our own actions are responsible for our own miseries. Definitely it is not because of others or others influence we get problems. There are lots of people among us and their habit is only to complain and complain and complain and they never lend to complement others.But a effective public speakers they always compliment.As i told you previously if they notice any small positive trait in others they appreciate genuinely,lavishly.So if you want to be a good public speaker cultivate the habit of complementing others never give a list of complaints and nobody will listen to you and nobody will come to you because the energy of negativity will also effects even a positive person to become a negative person.So avoid this habit of complaining in your life.

4. The fourth habit which we need to avoid and get rid of is giving excuses.If you notice or if you observe in the society a lot of people have the habit of complaining, the habit of giving lame excuses. This is also a part of complaining and unfortunately this has become a national habit for our country also. If you look at the politicians and if you look at various channels particularly the national channels they always blame,always they shift the blames on others for their follies.One government always complains and gives excuses but they never accept their own follies.That is the main problem that's why i said that this is the national habit.Our politicians are experts in that.They always complain,they always judge the people,the other leaders and they always give excuses as if they were 100% perfect. When the leaders are like this leading the nation and even the people also will follow their trend.Whereas in some countries if the ruling government is doing some good job the opposition members they appreciate, they cooperate and they coordinate.But unfortunately in India it is the other way.So if you to be an effective speaker don't try to give an excuses. If you have done a mistake wholeheartedly accept it and try to be honest and the end of the day people will appreciate you for being honest accepting your own follies and mistakes.
                Being a training manager for many years in my life i observe people and how they speak and very often i watch the national channels in English particularly the way the anchors behave is really shameful even a small child can understand the mottoes of the anchors.For example the anchor will be asking the participants of a certain debate to answer his question in 30 seconds and then when the speaker is talking, not even he has finished his 30 seconds the anchor immediately grabs the mid sentence of the participants and he will draw his own conclusions in such a way that he would like to influence the lakhs of the people who were watching his show to have a very very negative impression about the participant who was invited for the debates. I really feel so pained.So i had to come to conclusions that actually it is not a debate,there is no dialogue.Whatever the anchor decides in his mind and that what he tries to convey to the public as if it was the opinion of the other participant who never meant that way.I was told that all these people were trained professionals in order to increase their rating of the viewers they play such tactics.Because most of the people they are very much interested only to listen to the gossip and the people arguing and fighting like dogs or the people talking in a fish market and these initially may get the rating and at the end of the day it will have a negative impact among the listeners.They do not follow the basic rule of communication. I personally feel even the children of age of 5 years better than these anchors.This is my personal opinion.

5. The fifth aspect is exaggeration.Most of the people had the habit of exaggerating something which they had seen and liked.It may be about a situation or it may be about a person whom they admired the facts are always very very simple but when a person likes for instant a spiritual teacher or may be a picture they exaggerate to such an extent that initially they may be able to get some attention but once the others had come to know about the reality,the true picture then the speaker will loose his credibility and nobody will believe him even after some time if he was telling a truth it is very difficult to believe him.And the most effective speakers they never indulge in exaggeration of a situation or may be a place or may be a person.They are always very very honest and simple.People will not like such persons who are exaggerated and there are lot of stories about this. So if you want to get attention and create interest among the listeners do not try to exaggerate anything speak the truth speak the fact as it was.As i told you truth is very simple, straight forward it does not require any unnecessary decorations. So in life try to be very honest,very simple when you are telling a truth.The fact should be related as a fact without any exaggeration.

6. The sixth habit which we should get rid of is dogmas.Do not try to impose your opinions whether it is about any reformations in the society may be the religious beliefs or your own personal beliefs do not try to impose on others.The people have got the tendency of indulging in themselves in monologue without giving any opportunity or without understanding other persons views or belief systems they keep on giving lectures.And such people will only get ill reputation.Never try to impose your own beliefs or opinions or principles on others.Lend to respect the feelings of others and accordingly you have to express your opinions.The first and foremost thing is that try to avoid discussing politics and religion.These two are emotional feelings or beliefs of others.Only when you have patience to listen to the opinions of others and respect their own feelings and then try to put your own feelings in a very subtle and polite manner with honesty people will love that kind of a person. Hence most of the prominent and famous public speakers they never thus their own opinions on others while speaking in private or in public.They always respect the feelings of others.They avoid arguments instead they try to discuss or sometimes they will be only listeners.So these are the main important habits one should get rid of  if they would want to become a very powerful and interesting public speaker these are the basic things we should try to avoid.
         If it try to put these in a nutshell if you want to be a very powerful public speaker always try to be very honest if you are narrating any thing avoid exaggeration,avoid blaming others,avoid judging others or other's opinions or belief systems instead try to be very honest accept your follies and put lot of energy of convection to the public and always there should be a modulation in your speech and there should be a kind of some dramatization with some interesting gestures when you are speaking in public.When you know the public most of then are not listening to you then you have to immediately change the monotonous speech and then inject some kind of humor among the listeners and change the pitch of your voice that is called modulation.When you do so then again you will be infusing interest and you will be able to get attention from the listeners and always try to be very brief when you know the public or the listeners are becoming bit restless and that is the signal for you to conclude the speech.So don't try to be very elaborate come to the point straight and at the end you thank all the people for their attention before you conclude your speech.While speaking you should be very enthusiastic and the energy of your enthusiasm or the energy of convection or the energy of your genuine interest in that particular topic will definitely change the mood of the listeners.They will pay all the attention to you.Hence don't be monotonous while speaking try to give small examples in the form of some interesting and true stories and that is how you will be able to sustain interest among the listeners.There are no shortcuts to become a very powerful public speaker and most of the time it is the positive nature of the speaker which makes him a very powerful and acceptable speaker among the public.Thank you.
               Before you go for a public speaking, you are going to give a lecture in small group of people try to do a little bit of pranayam for 2 or 3 minutes.Inhale deeply retain for sometime and exhale.Before you begin your speech take sometime to read the script if there is in those script try to rearrange your thoughts and try to follow a sequence.Do a bit of rehearsals 2 or 3 times and then you will be able to speak without the help of any notes.So these are the small tips which will help you to a greater extent.